Happy New Year!

Let’s just say he didn’t have time to blink before I slapped the back of his head. Or at least thought of doing that. It was time for one of those life lessons I’m so good at giving. I told him if he ever expected to make it in the real world, with real women and hopes of ever getting married, he should refrain from ever mentioning facial hair again. I even made an example of his mistake and shared it with his younger brother hoping he would be shocked at Noah’s complete lack of common sense and heartily empathize with me and the insensitive comment. No, Ethan basically said, “So?” Ugh. A mother’s work is never done. Thank heavens Rooster has learned not to upset the nest too much.

That same day, while we sat in the parking lot eating those donuts, Noah and I watched a couple of birds swoop in and out of the awning above a tire repair shop next door. He asked if I thought they were building a nest. I said yes and looked closer to see what they were carrying in their beaks. It looked like little bits of string and grass. When I thought about the location of the nest, I wondered if Mrs. Bird said to Mr. Bird, “Really? Tires? You think our chicks are going to enjoy the scent of grease and oil as soon as they pop out of the eggs, Roger? “ (I don’t know if Roger is really his name. Roger just seemed to go with Robin- Roger Robin) “And what about that obnoxious noise every time they loosen those tires? You might as well have moved us in by the dentist on 3^rd street!” I know, I know. Ridiculous imagination. But there is a life lesson or two in this. First, “LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!!!” and second, NEVER TRY TO PLEASE A PREGNANT WIFE, it’s truly useless.

All kidding aside, think before you make a decision that might land you in hot water. Maybe you’re thinking of buying the best house in the worst neighborhood because it’s a steal. Think twice, you should really buy the worst house in the best neighborhood and improve it. Perhaps you’re going to paint and you’re pretty sure “lemon-drop yellow” will go with the curtains you purchased two days ago but forgot to bring into the paint store. Obviously, with my paint track record, you know I’m well educated on that subject. Finally, measure twice! You do not want to know how many things I’ve bought and have had to take back and some I couldn’t even return. Rooster is not the most pleasant when it comes to discussing the state of our garage and my “mis-purchases”. Take my deep words of wisdom…use your head. The one that sits on top of your shoulders!

There! Your teacher has spoken. If you need me, I’ll be at the banquet receiving my “Red Apple” award. (And yes, I did shave first.)

I ask because I’d like to change the question up a bit…Are you the plate you eat off? I know it’s a weird question, but tell me… Are you eating off of Aunt Mildred’s 1970′s brown and orange mushroom collection that match the glass toad stools she left you? Are you hiding away the pretty dishes you think are too fragile to use? Or are you fully enjoying those special pieces? For me, my mother “graciously” handed me the set of china her father-in-law (you heard me right) picked out for them. They weren’t too bad if you like pictures of old mills, but I was happy to move onto something that made me a little happier and I know my Mom was!

At some point in my married life, I started realizing how much I loved plates. Not just for eating, but for decorating too. The plates were more than dinnerware. They were art. The best part about the art? They were cheap! I’m truly a vintage plate kind of gal. Give me a red transfer-ware plate and I’m in heaven. Find me a rare green one and I’m practically delirious! When I’m at my most absolutely favorite store in the whole wide world, Homegoods, I always start in dinnerware and most often skip the wall art section altogether! They always seem to have a new piece and I can almost guarantee I’ll find the color or style I’m looking for whether it’s vintage looking or something more modern.

Now, all this is not to say dishes cannot be beautiful in their intended place. In fact, the opposite is quite true. Even though I’m not particularly fond of cooking, sitting down at the table with pretty dishes and matching drinking glasses puts me in a good mood. You see, if I don’t catch my kids, they tend to put the Scooby Doo cups from the fast food place with the expensive red water goblets I keep on the top shelf! But, if the matching ones are out, I feel at peace. That is until we’re done praying and the conversation turns to blowing up heads in cartoons and #2 asks if he can blow up a grape in the microwave to demonstrate what it would look like.

Perhaps one of the things I love best about dishes is they tell a story. Believe it or not, even Aunt Mildred’s toad stools! (Although, really? Toad stools?) I love looking at some of the beautiful dishes my Mom left me when she passed away. There’s a precious bone-china cookie jar that belonged to my great-grandmother. There’s the china Mom picked out later in life (after getting rid of “Old Mill”) and loved using. I don’t use them every day, but I do have them displayed as priceless works of art.

So next time you’re feeling like you can’t afford art work, pull out some of your favorite dishes and if your table feels lack-luster at dinner time, bring out matching plates and cups. That might just be the Pixi Stix to your toad stool kind of nest. Oh, and to my daughters, I still have the “Old Mill” china in the attic waiting for you!

To dish some more, check out the book, The Vintage Table: Personal Treasures and Standout Settings by Jacqueline DeMontravel (available on Amazon).

This place is a rectangular box with glass on all sides. It’s raised up on stilts about 4 feet off the ground. YUCK! Actually, if you check out the history of this place, you’ll find a juicy bit of gossip…ironic, eh? Anyway, I was looking at this place and thinking how cold and impersonal it was. Nothing that said a Mrs. Farnsworth resided there. In fact it really looks quite bleak, almost hopeless. I was about to lift a hand and pat myself on the back, when I looked up and saw my own glass windows. Whooaaaa… ok, not good. Look back down at the laptop, Cheri. Stop before you start turning around to look at the other windows. Oh, now you’ve done it! What’d you go and do that for? Now it’s too late. Cue depression and hopelessness. They’re FILTHY!!! I know it’s March and everything, but I can barely see the depressing gray and brown landscape through the fingerprints, streaks, and dog licks!

I think it’s time to stop pontificating and pick up a bottle of Windex, a roll of paper towels and deal with the task. But, not until I throw one more stone, at myself. It’s easy for me to criticize Mies and Mrs. Farnsworth for their, what I call, “lack of creativity”. But the truth is, we don’t all have the same type. We each have our own needs to fill. For me, I want my home to look and feel happy. I use bright cheery reds and happy yellows to help me accomplish this. For Mrs. Farnsworth, well, maybe she needed her home (I use the term lightly) to show a lack of clutter; emptiness. Maybe the rest of her life was messy and this was her escape (and again I refer you to the juicy gossip about the house.) So, what do you need?

Ouch! I just got hit with a stone!